“I don’t deserve this.”
“Yes, you do, sweetheart. You’ve always deserved this and so much more.”
***
He had a heart attack in his sleep. Aunt Carol found him when he didn’t answer her morning call. I didn’t get to say goodbye.
I couldn’t eat or sleep.
I skipped school for almost a week and just sat on the couch in one of his old flannel shirts.
My grandpa was gone.
The prom flyer stayed pinned to the fridge, and every time I walked past it, I felt sick.
***
“I’m not going, Aunt Carol. I can’t,” I told her while she stayed with me at Grandpa’s place because I refused to leave.
“Honey, he made that dress for you. He’d want you to wear it.”
“I know what he’d want. That doesn’t mean I can do it.”
She sat next to me and took my hand.
Every time I walked past it, I felt sick.
“Tina, listen to me. That man worked himself to the bone for one night. One night. Don’t let it sit in a closet.”
I didn’t answer her. But I didn’t say no again either.
***
The morning of prom, I stood in front of my closet for a long time. Then I pulled the dress out.
I ran my fingers over the tiny stitches near the waist, imagining his big, rough hands pushing that needle through, over and over.
I didn’t answer her.
I put it on and looked in the mirror.
“I’m wearing it for you, Grandpa. I’m gonna make you proud tonight. I promise.”
I sent Aunt Carol a message about what I was doing. I grabbed her car keys while she was out visiting a neighbor. She’d told me the car was mine for the night.
I headed out the door before I could change my mind.
I sent Aunt Carol a message about what I was doing.
***
I walked into the ballroom alone, the blue dress brushing softly against my knees.
String lights glittered from the ceiling, and the whole place smelled of hairspray and cheap punch.
I kept my eyes on the floor and told myself I only had to make it through one song for Grandpa.
Then I heard her voice.
“Oh my God, look!”
